


and the world continues to spin

by brookethenerd



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M, basically just lukas taking care of philip, philip grieving, the boys getting better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 21:52:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9035246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookethenerd/pseuds/brookethenerd
Summary: what happened in the month between the end of the season and what we saw in the timehop, and how they got to that point





	

**Day 1. 11:07 AM.**  
When he gets to Helen and Gabe’s, they tell him that Philip went into his room when he got home last night and hasn’t come out since. They’re pretty sure he snuck out around 3 in the morning to use the bathroom, but the trays they’ve left outside the door have been left untouched, and every attempt they’ve made to talk to him have fallen on deaf ears.  
He locked the door, and though Helen wanted to pick the lock and go in, Gabe convinced her not to. He convinced her to give him time. And to call Lukas.  
His father didn’t even bat an eye when he told him where he was going. He just told him to wear his helmet, and that he hoped Philip was doing okay. Maybe because he’s starting to be okay with Philip and Lukas, or maybe because he knows what a loss like this feels like.  
Gabe and Helen leave-Helen to work, and Gabe to the store-leaving Lukas and Philip alone in the house.  
Lukas climbs the stairs, and knocks on Philip’s door. Lukas knows he’s in there, but Philip doesn’t so much as breathe loud enough for it to be heard.  
“Hey. It’s me.” He says.  
Again, no reply.  
“You don’t have to open the door or anything. I’m just gonna sit out here, if you’re cool with that.” He continues.  
Nothing but silence; he isn’t expecting him to talk, though. When his mom died, he didn’t talk for 3 weeks. His father took him to the doctor, and they said it was due to grief. One day he opened his mouth and asked for help reaching something, and that was the day he started to move on.  
Seeing as his father himself was mourning, Lukas was alone with his sadness and his longing. He was alone with his grief.  
He won’t leave Philip alone.  
He presses his back against the door, and tips his head against it.  
“I’m not going anywhere.” He says.  
And he doesn’t. He sits there until midnight, when he’s nodding off on the floor. Helen and Gabe bring him to their car, driving him home.

  
**Day 3. 6:58 PM.**  
Philip doesnt open the door. Lukas sits against it, and spends most of his time talking. He brings the schoolwork for both of them, and slips the papers beneath the door. He doesn’t think Philip is doing them, but he sits and talks his way through the problems and worksheets, or reads the textbook out loud.  
Helen and Gabe bring food up for both of them, and tell him that Philip only opens the door to get it once they’ve all gone to bed; they know this because the full plates are empty in the morning.  
He’s rattling on about his math problem, sitting on a pillow against the door, trying to figure the equation out in his head.  
All of a sudden, there’s pressure against the door. It moves, just a bit, and Lukas knows it wasn’t him.  
Then he hears Philip take a shaky breath.  
He’s sitting against the door on the other side; Lukas hears as his head tips back against it.  
He doesn’t try to get him to open the door. He simply keeps on working through the problem as if nothing’s happened.  
It’s progress, and he’ll take it.

  
 **Day 4. 8:13 AM.**  
When he first gets to Helen and Gabe’s, they ask how he’s feeling, and how he’s doing. If his chest still hurts. If he’s getting enough sleep. They tell him he doesn’t need to come every day; he needs to rest, too.  
But Lukas tells them the same thing he’s said the past 3 days.  
He wont leave Philip alone. He’ll sit outside that door for months, for as long as Philip needs him to.  
“I brought muffins, if you want one.” Lukas says through a mouth full of muffin, taking his seat on the pillow on the floor. He drops his bag next to him, setting the box of muffins on top of it.  
“I got two of those gross ones you like. The weird pistachio ones. I, of course, got myself double chocolate. Because I’m normal.” Lukas says.  
“Pistachio muffins aren’t weird.” Philip’s voice, thick and soft, comes through the door, and Lukas does his best not to show any reaction to it.  
This is the first time Philip has spoken since he found out about his mom.  
“They are. But it’s okay. I like you anyways.” Lukas says.  
Lukas holds his breath, waiting for Philip to sit against the door, or say something else.  
Instead, he clears the lock click. Philip unlocked the door.  
Lukas doesn’t go in, though. It’s like approaching a wild animal. One misstep, and they’re running back to the trees.  
“You want one?” He asks.  
The door opens a crack, and Lukas slides the muffin inside. Philip doesn’t shut the door, but he doesn’t open it any further, either.  
Lukas leans against the doorframe, and he can see Philip’s legs, where he’s sitting against his desk.  
“Gross, right? I don’t know how you eat those things.” Lukas says, hearing Philip pull off the wrapping of his muffin.  
“You’re a dick.” Philip says, voice muffled by his muffin.  
“I have a dick.”  
“Im aware.”  
“I know you are.”  
Philip doesn’t reply, but Lukas hears him suck in a breath. He licks his lips, and puts his hand through the door.  
After a pause, Philip takes it.  
And that’s how they stay until the sun goes down, and Lukas goes home.

  
**Day 5. 9:20 AM.**  
When Lukas gets upstairs, he stops in front of the door. He’s about to set his bag down on the floor when the knob turns, and the door opens.  
Standing on the other side, hands at his sides, lips pressed together, is Philip.  
Lukas takes a step into the room, and drops his bag down at his feet, giving it a push with his foot, so it sits against the desk.  
His gaze flicks around Philip’s face; his messy hair, one of Lukas’ tee shirts on his torso, dark bruises beneath his eyes.  
It’s been 5 days since his mom died, but he doesn’t think Philip has slept more than a few hours in that time.  
“I don’t have a family anymore.” Philip says, voice rough.  
And Lukas’ heart breaks for him. Because he knows what it feels like to be left behind. He knows the ache in your chest and the times you catch your breath, when you remember that they’re gone. He knows the way it hurts, and he knows the way it feels like it’s never going to stop, and he knows that it eventually does.  
“Philip.” Lukas says.  
Then Philip is stumbling towards him, and throwing his arms around his neck. Lukas wraps his arms around him, one hand coming up to tuck Philip’s head against his chest. He kicks a foot back, nudging the door shut, and then he’s carefully walking Philip back to the bed. He lowers him onto it, never loosening his hold, and lays back, pulling Philip with him.  
The minute Philip gets settled in his arms, Philip starts to cry. Angry, agonizing, longing cries. His chest shakes and he sucks in breath after breath and Lukas holds him as he breaks.  
After hours and hours of sobs and small tears and trembling, Philip falls asleep. Lukas is starving, but he doesn’t let go of Philip. The minute Lukas even shifts his weight Philip’s eyes snap open, and panic fills his eyes.  
So he stays.

  
**Day 15. 8:49 PM.**  
“I need to stay, Dad. He needs me here.” Lukas pleads, standing on Philip’s porch, phone pressed to his ear.  
“Lukas-“  
“I’m going to school. I’m getting my homework done.”  
“It isnt about that, Lukas.”  
“I-I have trouble sleeping. The nightmares. And Philip gets them too. And I-“  
Bo sighs, and Lukas can picture him running a hand over his tired face.  
“Okay. But only for a few more days.”  
“Thank you, Dad.”  
Bo pauses.  
“I love you, son.”  
“I love you, too.” Lukas says softly.

  
**Day 16. 3:13 PM.**  
Philip rides behind Lukas on his bike every day to get to school.  
That’s all Philip does outside the house. He gets up, comes down for breakfast, and the boys go to school. Rose and some of Lukas’ other friends invited them to sit with them, but they usually end up sitting inside somewhere, where it’s quiet. Lukas flinches every time a locker slams; it sounds so much like a gun shot. And if someone so much as reaches into their pocket for something, Philip scrabbles for Lukas’ arm, as if waiting for a gun to be pulled out.  
It’s easier for them to be alone, most of the time.  
After school, they go back to Philip’s house. They sit in Philip’s room and do homework, and Helen or Gabe bring dinner up. Sometimes, Lukas is able to get Philip to come down and sit in the living room, or at the table. Sometimes he can be coaxed into conversation. Sometimes he can be convinced to sit on the couch with Helen and Gabe and watch a movie or some silly TV show.  
Today, instead of going straight inside, Lukas touches Philip’s arm gently. Philip sets his helmet down, brows pulling together.  
“Wanna sit out here and do homework?” He asks. Philip pauses, then nods. He sits down right where he is, and drops his bag. Lukas sits beside him, and lays down on his back, closing his eyes.  
For a little while, they let the sun warm their skin. Then Philip starts to talk.  
He tells a story about his mother, and the one time she took him to an amusement park. How they ate a turkey leg and rode the rides until both were sick and how Philip fell asleep on the subway as they headed back to the city.  
It’s just a story, one from Philip’s past. But it’s also more than that. It’s a memory, one that Philip is letting come to the surface.  
It’s the beginning of reconstruction. The beginning of moving on.

  
**Day 26. 11:25 PM.**  
“I think I’m gonna go back home tomorrow.” Lukas whispers, fingers tracing up and down Philip’s arm.  
“Yeah?” Philip murmurs.  
“Yeah.”  
“I think…I think I might go get my stuff from my mom’s apartment this weekend.” Philip says.  
“Do you want me to go with you?” Lukas asks. Philip shakes his head.  
“I’ll have Helen and Gabe take me.”  
“There’s a party in Red Hook. If you wanna go.”  
Philip doesn’t reply for a moment.  
“If not, it’s-“  
“I wanna go.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah.”  
Lukas smiles lightly, and ducks his head, pressing a kiss to the top of Philip’s head.  
Philip tilts his chin up, kissing Lukas once, before burying his face in his shirt.  
“We’re gonna be okay, Philip.” He says.  
Again, Philip goes quiet.  
“I think we already are.” He says finally.  
Lukas thinks about that for a long time after Philip falls asleep.  
His last thought before sleep pulls him under is that maybe Philip is right.


End file.
